Professional black women... I love you! You're brilliant. You're dynamic. You're savvy. You're sexy. You're beautiful. You're all the things that black men should and do want (even if they're not necessarily the same thing). But the truth is, you're killing me.
In the midst of all of your success, accolades, and dream chasing, you've become disillusioned. You've been hurt by some men, disrespected by others, and taught to distrust the rest by what I call the "Black Men Ain't Shit" movement. I understand your frustration with us. As a whole, we can leave much to be desired. But that's not a license to board yourself up emotionally like Hurricane Katrina 2 is coming and require men to jump through rings of fire just to get to know you. It's not cute. It's not an approrpiate way of dealing with your issues and you're pushing away the kind of men you say you want. No man wants to lick your wounds from old relationships just like you don't want to pay for other women's mistakes. Now granted, we all have some emotional baggage. It's a part of life, but again, it's not an excuse to wild out on the next man or woman.
In all of your independence, I think you've had a lot to deal with that you shouldn't accept. Men who are too insecure with themselves to handle you in all of your glory need to wake up and get over themselves. It's 2007 men! Women are not here to cook your meals, clean your crib, do your laundry, and raise your kids. If that's how you determine a woman's worth, you will be missing out on what matters every time. Any woman who can climb to the top of Corporate America or a law firm or whatever her profession is most certainly the essence of what you want.
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5 comments:
this is on point. however, i think a woman reserves the right to say "enough is enough" and do whatever the hell she wants with her life. if that's not dating, it's not dating. maybe she doesn't want a boyfriend, hell, maybe she doesn't even want to get married. sometimes people just need time to reassess and recharge. also, woman's intuition is normally on point--if one feels as though she should reserve herself with a man cuz some of his shit seems questionable, then so be it.
This is so true...wish the world could see it this way or at least acknowledge it in a positive way! Keep it coming "Gentleman"
I'm feelin you tiff. That's why I think you have to be realistic about where you are mentally and whether you're ready to put yourself out there. I applaud everyone who's honest enough with themselves to take themselves out of the game until they're ready.
First, I don't think that only professional women become defensive after broken relationships. Second, I think that it is only natural to put up a "defense system" when you've been hurt more than once. If someone keeps slapping you in the face, eventually, you are going to protect yourself.
That being said...I don't think that most women require men to jump through hoops before they can get to know her. I think that a certain level of reservation or hesitation exists while we are attempting to feel the man and the situation out for what it is worth.
I'm going to have to laugh at some of these comments. It is true that women and men tend to put up a "defense system" BUT you can only blame yourself and not the next person when you continue to submit yourself to the same types of relationship. It comes a point when you have to look at everything and everypoint of these relationships to realize where exactly things are going wrong.
Sometimes you need to have up a "defense system" it might just help prevent women and men from getting in the same situation each time. I think the problem is PATIENCE!! We all get very impatient sometimes and move too fast when we see a little good in a person rather than waiting to get a better understanding of the person so...
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